Social Media and Tween Girls

Written by Jordan Haiber, BA, Clinical Counseling Intern at All of You Therapy in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The ‘tween’ age group, which falls between eight and twelve years old, are utilizing social media

now more than ever before. However, it is specifically young girls that use social media much

more than their male peers. The problem with this is that the way tween girls use social media

can be much more potentially damaging than how boys use it. Research has found while boys

mostly play video games, the way they utilize social media is to share, find and post content they

find funny or entertaining. Girls, however, are using social media to solely connect with others.

Tween girls heavily focus on how they present themselves on social media applications and

worry about how others will perceive them from this presence alone. This unfortunately is a lot

of added stress and anxiety to a tween girl who is already experiencing a difficult time full of

transitions at this age. Looking back, this time in my life personally was already confusing and

frustrating enough attempting to cope with the way my body was changing, the dynamics of my

social life and a mountain of other exhausting new obstacles that came with this age. I honestly

couldn’t imagine the added labored layer of social media being a part of my life at that time.

It is now more important than ever to help guide the tween girls in our life by building healthy

habits on social media. It is reported that tween girls spend about five hours a day on social

media. The importance of setting personal boundaries with screen time and limiting media intake

should be conveyed to the tween in your life in a way they can understand. The most effective

way you can do this is by modeling the behavior yourself. Emphasize phone-free times such as

family meals, quality time, schoolwork, or rest. This will also help promote the importance of

balance and increase self-discipline skills. It is also important that a tween girl has a safe space to

have the opportunity to confide in a trusted adult about harmful things that can happen and be

seen on social media. Cyberbullying, suicide, depression, and negative body image have all been

tied to heavily engaging in online activity. Having an honest conversation and being able to

educate a tween girl on the heavy topics that come up or appear due to a constant social media

presence can help tween girls engage more safely. One of the most important examples you can

set for the tween girl in your life is self-compassion. Even though tween girls seem to be in their

own worlds at times, they are truly looking up to the trusted adults in their lives, especially

women. Treating yourself in a healthy, loving way will help counter the self-criticism tween girls

experience so often at this age.