Therapy for Anxious Attachment
Queer-affirming & neurodivergence-informed attachment therapy
When you’re single…
The moment you download the dating apps, the anxiety roller coaster begins.
Why didn’t he text back? Did she ghost me? Do I even like them or do I just not want to be alone?
The uncertainty and games of the dating world leave you exhausted and feeling hopeless that you’ll ever find your ideal partner.
You know you have so much love to give. But obsessive thoughts and fear of rejection get in the way of you showing your best self to potential dates.
When you’re in a relationship…
When there is tension in your relationship, it consumes your thoughts. You can’t focus at work, and obsess over what to say to make it better.
When you ask for what you need, it comes out all wrong and your partner pulls away or becomes overwhelmed. You feel like you have to sacrifice your needs to keep the peace.
You feel abandoned, deeply unlovable, and like you’re the problem in the relationship. But you’re not sure how to fix it.
Attachment-based therapy can help you learn how to…
Roll with unexpected events, knowing deep down you’re okay, whatever happens
Take gentle care of yourself when you’re feeling distressed or overwhelmed
Experience deeper trust in yourself and others, including how to recognize who is meant to be in your life and who isn’t
Shift the focus away from obsessing about what a date/partner thinks of you and discover if you actually like them first (This is a big one!)
Understand the true root of your attachment anxiety and take steps to heal it
Feel more peace and calm while dating and navigating new relationships
Not sure if you’re anxiously attached?
Possible signs that you may be experiencing anxious attachment*
✘ Fear of abandonment and rejection
✘ Assuming the worst-case scenario about your partner
✘ Feelings of jealousy or mistrust
✘ Preoccupation with your relationship status, whether single or partnered
✘ Seeking outside validation over your own internal experience
✘ Sacrificing your needs
✘ Overwhelming, intense emotions
✘ Difficulty setting boundaries
✘ Prioritizing others’ needs before your own
✘ Self-criticism and perfectionism
✘ Feeling unworthy of love
✘ Seeking high levels of reassurance
*Attachment experiences exist on a continuum and may show up differently depending on your past life experiences, relationship history, and current partner(s). As attachment-based specialists, we can help you explore if anxious attachment is present for you.
What if I’m neurodivergent?
If you identify as ADHD, HSP, autistic, or beyond — you’re in a welcoming space. As a neurodiversity-affirming, attachment-based practice, we get that signs of “typical” anxious attachment may vary between neurodivergent presentations. We are eager to explore how you experience relationships and attachment as a neurodivergent person and can adapt our approach accordingly to your unique needs.
✘ Overwhelming, intense emotions
✘ Difficulty setting boundaries
✘ Prioritizing others’ needs before your own
✘ Self-criticism and perfectionism
✘ Feeling unworthy of love
✘ Seeking high levels of reassurance
Attachment-based therapy
We take a radically different approach to attachment therapy.
Attachment styles exist beyond a 10-question Cosmo quiz or a TikTok trend. In truth, you are more than just a single attachment style.
There are parts of you with different attachment strategies and different attachment ‘states’. We also have different attachment behaviors with different people at different stages of the relationship!
This may explain why you feel like your attachment experience doesn’t fit into a box, especially if you’re queer or neurodivergent, too.
Is healing anxious attachment even possible?
100% Yes! We have helped hundreds of clients better understand their attachment system, respond to their emotions in compassionate and proactive ways, and take steps to heal the underlying issues behind their intense feelings.
Healing anxious attachment requires a multi-prong approach.
Therapy is an important first step and can provide tremendous relief for you.
We will also explore what other supports might help you, such as a daily practice, support groups, educational resources, and more. We may explore your childhood experiences and help you relate differently to yourself and others.
