Understanding Common Responses to Sexual Assault

Sexual assault or abuse is an experience that can leave individuals with a wide range of emotional responses and reactions.  It is common for individuals who have experienced sexual abuse/assault to not be sure what it is they feel and to doubt whether the quantity or quality of what they feel is valid or sensical.  Individuals can be left with feelings of uncertainty about whether what they experienced was really “that bad” and whether they should have done more. There is no one right way to feel after experiencing sexual abuse or assault- common reactions include confusion, rage, grief, despair, terror, self-blame, shame, or a combination of these emotions.  It is common that the aspect of the experience that feels the most painful or distressing is not what most people would guess. Sometimes it is the reaction (or lack thereof) from those close to the survivor or the aftermath of disclosure that feels the most stressful or overwhelming.

• Denial and Self-Blame

One of the most common initial responses to sexual assault is denial. Survivors may struggle to come to terms with the reality of what happened, leading them to question their memories or even blame themselves for the incident. Survivors may find themselves telling themselves “I should have known to not go on that date,” “I shouldn’t have worn that,” or “There must be something about me that caused this person to do that.” Feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness often accompany this response, making it essential for survivors to understand that they are not at fault and that healing is possible.

Denial or self-blame is often trying to serve a helpful and protective function.  It is often an attempt at managing what can be overwhelming emotional pain that underlies the experience of what occurred. Telling oneself “it wasn’t that bad” can serve many functions.  The purpose is therapy is not to attempt to convince a survivor that their experience was worse than they say it was, but to provide the safety and opportunity to come into contact with the truth of their emotional experience- with all the complexities it may hold- in order to be able to process the truth of deep emotional experience, and to do so without shame.

• Emotional Turmoil

After a sexual assault, individuals may find themselves engulfed in intense emotions. They might experience anger, fear, sadness, and even numbness, often all at once. Managing such powerful feelings can be incredibly challenging, but it's important to recognize that emotions are valid and a natural part of the healing process.

Emotional turmoil can be overwhelming, leaving survivors feeling like they are on an emotional rollercoaster. Seeking trauma therapy can provide a safe space to explore and express these emotions, allowing survivors to gradually process the trauma and move towards emotional stability.

• Flashbacks and Nightmares

Traumatic memories can manifest as flashbacks or nightmares, retriggering the pain and fear experienced during the assault. These intrusive recollections can leave survivors feeling helpless and vulnerable, further emphasizing the need for therapeutic assistance to process and integrate these memories.

Flashbacks and nightmares can make survivors feel as though they are reliving the assault, causing heightened anxiety and distress. Trauma therapy employs various techniques, such as art therapy Link to Art Therapy page and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Link to EMDR Page, to help survivors reprocess these memories in a less overwhelming way.

• Avoidance and Social Isolation

In an attempt to shield themselves from further pain, survivors may avoid situations or places that remind them of the assault. Social isolation might become a coping mechanism, as the fear of encountering insensitive reactions from others or being judged can be overwhelming. Trauma therapy can offer a supportive environment to work through these avoidance behaviors and foster reconnection with a sense of safety in the world.

Avoidance and social isolation are common coping strategies survivors adopt to protect themselves from potential triggers. In therapy, survivors can gradually learn to confront their fears and rebuild their lives, knowing that they are not alone and that they have a support system to rely on.

• Hyperarousal and Hypervigilance

Sexual assault can leave individuals feeling perpetually on edge, making it difficult for them to relax and trust others. They may be hyperaware of their surroundings, experiencing heightened startle responses and difficulty sleeping. Therapy can provide an opportunity to learn about one’s nervous system and become more acquainted with which activities and tools help to shift from a shut down (hypoarousal) or anxious/on-edge (hyperarousal) state to one that contains more capacity for mindfulness and self-compassion.

Hyperarousal and hypervigilance are responses that stem from the body's natural survival instincts after experiencing trauma. Trauma therapy can teach survivors relaxation techniques, grounding exercises, and coping strategies, including somatic exercises and visualization techniques to manage these reactions, allowing them to feel more at ease and in control of their lives.

• Substance Abuse and Self-Destructive Behavior

Some survivors may turn to alcohol, drugs, or self-destructive behaviors as a way to cope with their pain. These harmful coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief, but they can lead to further complications and exacerbate the trauma. Trauma therapy services can provide healthier alternatives for dealing with the overwhelming emotions and rebuilding a life of strength and resilience.  

Substance abuse and self-destructive behaviors often arise as individuals try to numb their emotional pain or regain a sense of control over their lives. The use of these behaviors can create shame, and therapy can help survivors gain deeper compassion and understanding of themselves and work to heal the pain of the trauma so that the use of these behaviors feels less necessary.

Impact on Relationships

Sexual assault can significantly impact survivors' relationships with others. Trust issues, fear of intimacy, and difficulty in expressing emotions can strain personal connections. Professional trauma therapy can help survivors navigate these challenges and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

The aftermath of sexual assault can lead survivors to become withdrawn from relationships, as they may fear being vulnerable and getting hurt again. Through trauma therapy, survivors can work on rebuilding trust, setting boundaries, and learning effective communication skills, and fostering more positive and fulfilling connections.

Healing from sexual assault is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and understanding. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, remember that you are not alone, and help is available. Trauma therapy services offer a safe space to process emotions, memories, and experiences, allowing survivors to reclaim their lives and find empowerment in the face of adversity.

At All of You Therapy,  we are committed to providing a supportive environment where survivors can heal at their own pace. Our compassionate and experienced therapists are here to guide you on your path to recovery, helping you rediscover your strength, resilience, and ability to thrive. Remember, there is hope beyond the trauma, and you deserve a life filled with healing and happiness.

Take the first step towards healing today by reaching out for support. Link to Page to contact to schedule consultation Together, we can nurture your journey towards healing and renewal.