How To Support Your Grieving Friend
If you have a friend who has experienced the loss of a loved one, you may feel helpless and unsure how to help them. But if you know what not to do as well as what to do, you can be an important source of support for them during this difficult time in their life. Here's some advice for helping your grieving friend:
Offer support.
If you've known your friend for a long time, then you know how to be there for them. You can't ignore them or tell them to get over it, but what else can you do?
Don't tell them they will be ok. This may seem like good advice, but it isn't. Your friend is going through something deeply and needs someone to be present to their pain and grief..
Don't tell them they should be happy because their loved one has passed on; instead try saying things like "I'm sorry" or "I miss [insert name here] too." Provide opportunities for your friend to share stories about their loved one, and expect that your friend may have a multitude of feelings about the loss of their loved one-- those feelings may include guilt, relief, confusion, and other emotions, instead of just the feeling of sadness that we often expect when a loved one dies.
Listen.
Listening is a crucial part of helping your friend through grief. You may think you're being helpful by giving advice, but if the other person doesn't want to hear it, they will shut down and not feel like talking anymore. Instead, ask questions to find out more about how they are feeling and what they need from you. Let them know that you are there for them no matter what and give them space to talk when they need it--but don't leave without letting them know that there's support available if needed later on too!
Listening is also important because sometimes people don't even realize what's going on inside their own head until someone else points it out; this can be especially true when dealing with grief over something like death or divorce (which might not seem like big deals at first glance).
Let them know they are not alone.
Let them know they are not alone.
It may be hard to know what to say, but you can let your friend know that you are there for them. Don't be afraid to ask how they are doing and don't be afraid to share your own experience with grief if it will help the conversation along. If this is not the right time or if the person doesn't want to talk about it yet, then just listen instead!
Acknowledge their feelings and be honest about your own.
Be honest about your own feelings. It's okay to say that you're sad, too.
Acknowledge the person who died, but don't try to pretend that they are still here and everything is normal.
Don't assume that your friend will be ready for anything at all times, so give them space when needed and check in with them about what kind of help would be most helpful for them at this time.
Don't try to fix their problems for them.
One thing you shouldn't do is try to fix your friend's problems for them. It's important that they feel like they can solve their own issues, not just have someone else do it for them. It may help if you ask questions that encourage the person in grief to think through their feelings and actions (rather than just telling them what they should do). This will give them a sense of control over their own lives once more, which will make them feel better about themselves.
If your friend does need some advice, though, go ahead and offer it--but only if asked! Don't assume that because someone is grieving, they want or need advice from everyone around them; sometimes people just want someone who will listen without judgment or criticism.
Be there when they need you most.
You may be the first person to notice that your friend is grieving. If so, it's important that you let them know that you're there for them and ready to listen when they need to talk. It's okay if they don't want to talk about their feelings right away--just letting someone know that they have support can help them feel better in the long run.
It's also important not to try "fixing" their problems or trying too hard (or at all) when offering advice or suggestions for how best to deal with the situation at hand.
If possible, offer up some kind of activity together like going out for coffee or watching movies together on Netflix so both sides can relax after everything goes down between each other during this difficult time period where both parties are feeling pretty raw emotionally speaking." People who are grieving often mention how their friends may check in with them immediately after the loss, but as time progresses, their friends may distance or fail to check in. This does not necessarily mean that the friend doesn't care, but checking in with your friend weeks, months, and even years after the death of their loved one can help your friend know that you are truly open and desiring to support them in their grief process, however long it may take.
You can help people through their grief if you know how to be there for them and let them know you care about them
When you're helping someone through grief, it's important to remember that everyone handles their emotions differently. Some people may want to talk about what happened, while others might not be ready or willing to discuss the subject at all. You should try not to push them into talking if they don't feel comfortable doing so.
If your friend seems like they need someone else there with them when they're grieving, offer up some of your time and space for them (if possible). Sometimes just being around another person can make all the difference in the world when dealing with loss--and even if it doesn't seem like much help at first glance, simply knowing that there are people who care about them can go a long way toward making things easier on both sides down the road!
We hope that this article has given you some insight into how to help someone through grief. Remember, it's not always easy--and sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there for them. If they want to talk about their feelings or problems, listen with an open mind and heart so that they know they have someone who cares about them and will support them through their journey towards healing.