Helping Your Grieving Child
Talking about death and grief can be especially difficult for children, even if it's about a character on TV. It is important for adults to recognize the range of feelings that children have and express during these times and help them learn healthy ways to cope with their emotions.
Tips for talking about grief
You might be wondering how you can help your child process grief. Here are some tips:
Be patient. It may take time for your child to open up about their feelings, or it may happen all at once. Give them the space they need and don't push them into talking if they don't want to.
Be honest. If you're struggling with your own grief yourself, let them know that it's okay for you too. Try not to put on a brave face if you're feeling sad; instead, let them know that grieving is hard work but that there will come a day when things feel easier and more manageable again—and it's okay if they need some extra love from time-to-time! Don't try to hide how much pain you're in from those who care about you most; those around us who love us unconditionally deserve our honesty in return!
What to do if your child is upset over a death on TV or in the news
If your child is upset by a death in the news or on TV, it's important to be prepared to talk about it. If you're concerned that your child might be experiencing some grief and would like them to talk with you about their feelings, try asking: "I've noticed that this death has made you sad. Are there any thoughts or feelings that are hard for you?" Then listen carefully while they respond.
While it's important not to dismiss their feelings, don't make them feel compelled or obligated to share all of their emotions with you either. It's a good idea for parents and children alike to give each other space when one of them is grieving so that they can process those difficult emotions on their own terms (and in private!).
How to support children who have lost a close friend or relative
If your child is grieving, it’s important to help them process their feelings. The following steps may be useful for supporting children who have lost a close friend or relative:
Listen and don't judge.
Acknowledge the loss and focus on their feelings.
Let the child talk about what happened in whatever way they want to (or if they don't want to talk, just listen anyway).
Encourage them to express their feelings through art or play, writing in a journal or telling stories that involve this person. You might even write down some of your own memories as well so you can share together at another time.
Recognize that everyone grieves differently—some people are sad most of the time while others seem fine one day then break down crying later on without any apparent trigger (this is called "stuck grief"). Helping children understand that this is normal will help them cope better when they experience it themselves too!
Looking at memories and photos
Look at photos together. One of the simplest ways to help children process grief is to look at pictures together. You can do this by looking through albums, sorting through old photos, or even looking at family members’ Facebook posts and Instagram accounts.
Talk about the person. Ask questions about who they were and what kinds of things they liked to do, as well as how they made others feel happy (or sad). Your child may not be ready to answer these questions yet—that's okay! Just remember that they might open up more in the future.
Ask them how they feel now that this person has died; encourage them to express their emotions in words instead of actions if they need guidance on how best to do so without hurting themselves or anyone else
Helping children process grief is not easy but it is important.
When helping your child process grief, it is important to be patient. You may feel like they are not noticing or understanding your efforts, but they will come around in time. It’s also important to listen and be supportive. Don’t tell them what they should do or how they should feel; instead just listen and be there for them when they need support. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle emotionally as well as physically—you don’t want your own stress levels getting too high! Consistency is key in these situations; if you change something now after having been consistent for a while (such as visiting the cemetery), then that can confuse kids even more than if you had continued doing things the same way from the beginning of the grieving process (like visiting the cemetery every week). Being available is also important; kids need their parents at times where things are hard for them so make sure that no matter how busy life gets that you always have some time available whenever needed by your child during this difficult time in their life!