What Is Sextortion? Understanding the Crime, Its Impact, and How Therapy Can Help Survivors Heal

Written By Katie Fries

Sextortion is a growing and deeply harmful form of online abuse that preys on fear, shame, and vulnerability. Often targeting teens and young adults—but affecting people of all ages—sextortion can have devastating emotional, relational, and psychological consequences.

As therapists who specialize in trauma and attachment, we want to shed light on how sextortion happens, how it impacts survivors, and how therapy can support healing. Whether you're a survivor yourself, a concerned parent, or someone who wants to be informed, this post will help you better understand this painful yet important topic.

What Is Sextortion?

Sextortion is a form of sexual exploitation where someone is coerced into sending explicit images, videos, or personal content—often under the threat that existing material will be shared publicly or with people they know. The perpetrator may already possess an image (either real or AI-generated) or may manipulate someone into sending new ones, then use those to extort more.

Sextortion is not limited to strangers on the internet. It can involve acquaintances, romantic partners, or people met through online games, social platforms, or dating apps. The perpetrator may pretend to be someone the victim’s age, use fake photos or identities, or exploit trust built over time.

This crime is sadly on the rise. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), reports of financial sextortion—where perpetrators demand money instead of more images—have dramatically increased in recent years. In many of these cases, the targets are teenage boys, a population less commonly associated with sexual victimization and therefore more likely to remain silent out of shame.

But regardless of age, gender, or background, sextortion is a traumatic betrayal that can leave deep emotional scars.

How Sextortion Happens

Sextortion typically follows a chilling but familiar pattern:

  1. Grooming or manipulation: The perpetrator builds trust—posing as a peer, love interest, or even a modeling scout.

  2. Collection of material: They pressure the victim to share explicit content, or may already possess or fabricate material.

  3. Threats: Once they have a compromising image or video, they threaten to share it unless the victim sends more, pays money, or performs sexual acts.

  4. Isolation and escalation: Victims are often isolated by shame and fear. The abuser may escalate demands or carry out threats, increasing panic and hopelessness.

Many victims don’t tell anyone until the situation feels completely overwhelming—or until it’s too late to prevent the content from spreading. Tragically, some victims—especially young people—have taken their own lives after being targeted.

The Psychological Toll on Survivors

Sextortion is a profound psychological violation. Survivors often experience:

  • Intense shame and self-blame: Many feel like they should have “known better,” even though the manipulation was deliberate and calculated.

  • Hypervigilance and anxiety: The fear that images might still surface can lead to chronic anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and avoidance of social situations.

  • Depression and suicidality: The sense of humiliation and powerlessness can quickly spiral into depressive episodes, hopelessness, or suicidal ideation.

  • Distrust and relational struggles: Survivors may struggle to trust others, particularly in romantic or online contexts, and may withdraw from friends and family.

  • Trauma symptoms: Intrusive thoughts, body image issues, dissociation, or emotional numbing can all develop as a result of this abuse.

Many survivors don’t identify what happened as “real trauma” because there was no physical contact. But sextortion is absolutely a form of sexual abuse, and its emotional and psychological consequences are real and severe.

How Therapy Can Help Survivors of Sextortion

Therapy can offer a lifeline for those impacted by sextortion. Survivors often need more than reassurance—they need a space where the full depth of their experience can be named, honored, and worked through.

Here are some ways mental health therapy can help:

1. Undoing the Shame Narrative

Survivors often carry an overwhelming sense of shame, feeling like they are to blame for what happened. A skilled trauma therapist can help unpack those beliefs, clarify the dynamics of coercion, and support survivors in reclaiming their dignity and self-trust.

2. Reprocessing the Trauma

Approaches like EMDR, IFS (Internal Family Systems), art therapy, and AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) can help survivors process the emotional and somatic impact of what happened, reduce triggers, and restore a sense of safety in their bodies and minds.

3. Rebuilding Safety and Boundaries

Sextortion often makes survivors feel like their autonomy has been stolen. Therapy can help clients rebuild a felt sense of control, develop clearer internal and external boundaries, and reestablish safety—especially in digital spaces.

4. Supporting Relational Repair

Whether it’s telling a parent, navigating dating again, or reconnecting with peers after a public exposure, therapy can help survivors heal their relational worlds. This is particularly important for adolescents and young adults whose developmental tasks are deeply social.

5. Validating Identity and Worth

Sextortion often targets people at vulnerable moments—figuring out their sexuality, seeking affirmation, or longing for connection. Therapy can help survivors make sense of these longings without shame and integrate the experience into a larger, more compassionate understanding of who they are.

For Parents and Caregivers: What You Can Do

If you’re a parent or caregiver, it’s normal to feel helpless or terrified when learning about sextortion. But your response can make a profound difference. Here’s what helps:

  • Stay calm if your child discloses. Focus on safety, not punishment. Let them know they’re not in trouble and that you’re glad they told you.

  • Report it. NCMEC’s CyberTipline (cybertipline.org) allows you to report sextortion and other online exploitation. Law enforcement can help track perpetrators and remove images.

  • Get support. Even if images were never shared, the emotional impact can be devastating. A trauma-informed therapist can support both you and your child in navigating the aftermath.

The NCMEC also offers educational materials and guidance for families navigating online safety. Prevention begins with open, nonjudgmental conversations long before a crisis occurs.

You Are Not Alone

If you or someone you love has been affected by sextortion, know this: You are not alone. And this was not your fault. There is support. There is help. And there is healing.

Sextortion thrives in silence and shame. Therapy can be a place to break that silence, challenge that shame, and begin the process of restoring safety, dignity, and self-trust.

If you’re looking for a therapist who understands trauma, digital exploitation, and the emotional toll of abuse, reach out. You don’t have to carry this alone.

Resources:

Katie Fries
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