Child Anxiety Help in Philadelphia: Playful, Attachment-Based Strategies That Work
At All of You Therapy, based in Center City Philadelphia, we work with families navigating childhood anxiety every day. While The Opposite of Worry offers universally helpful insights, we see its core message—connection over correction—come to life in therapy rooms right here in Philly.
When a seven-year-old sobs at bedtime because the hallway feels “full of shadows,” or a fourth-grader refuses school after a single math mistake, parents often flip between soothing and pleading. You might google late at night, wondering whether you are coddling, pushing too hard, or missing something deeper. In The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears, psychologist Lawrence J. Cohen offers a fresh way through. Instead of lecturing kids out of their fears, he invites families to meet anxiety with connection, curiosity, and a hefty dose of play.
Below you will find the core ideas of Cohen’s book, translated into the real-life language we use every day at All of You Therapy in Center City, Philadelphia. Nothing here replaces individual therapy, yet these principles can give you a sturdy starting place at home.
Anxiety Is a Signal, Not a Character Flaw
Cohen reminds us that worry is built into the human survival kit. It shows up when children spot potential danger, when the world feels unpredictable, or when they are stretching into new developmental territory. Anxiety becomes a problem only when the body’s alarm bell gets stuck in the “on” position.
Think of a nine-year-old who yells “I’m stupid” and crumples over homework. Underneath the outburst is a nervous system convinced that a wrong answer equals rejection. When we label the behavior as defiance or laziness, we miss the flashing signal: “I feel unsafe.” The first job is not to remove every stressful trigger. It is to help the child’s body learn, little by little, that stress can be handled.
Connection Calms the Alarm System
Attachment research tells us that a well-tuned caregiver is the strongest buffer against distress. Cohen translates that science into plain terms: stay close, notice, and respond. This does not mean hovering. It means letting your child borrow your nervous system until theirs settles.
Imagine your five-year-old balks at walking upstairs alone. Instead of “You’re fine, just go,” try sitting at the bottom step and saying, “I get it. The upstairs feels huge right now. I can wait here while you peek into the bathroom.” Your steady voice and relaxed posture offer evidence that the environment—and your relationship—are safe.
Connection does not have to be speech-based. A gentle hand on a shoulder, a shared exhale, or singing the chorus of a favorite song can work faster than a dozen reassuring sentences. Trauma-informed therapies like Theraplay and Child-Parent Psychotherapy formalize these moments, yet every parent can practice micro-bursts of co-regulation throughout the day.
Play Is the Nervous System’s Native Language
Cohen’s biggest contribution is his insistence that laughter and silliness are not side perks of childhood; they are antidotes to fear. Play shrinks cortisol, expands curiosity, and lets kids experience mastery without pressure.
Try the “Monster Patrol” game for hallway fears. Strap a beach towel cape on your hesitant explorer, arm yourself with a toilet-paper roll telescope, and search each dark corner together. Giggles trick the brain into releasing tension. Over time, the child begins patrolling ahead, collecting evidence that upstairs is, in fact, manageable.
Playlistening—the grown-up intentionally acting goofy or incompetent—works too. If a child dreads separating at preschool, you might pretend to cling to the classroom doorframe while the child lovingly pries you off. Power flips like this let kids practice bravery from the driver’s seat.
Lean In, Don’t Talk Kids Out of Fear
Well-meaning adults often say, “There’s nothing to worry about” or “Be brave.” Unfortunately, logic cannot override a limbic system on high alert. Cohen suggests naming the fear, then joining it instead of fighting it.
If thunderstorms terrify your child, pull out pots as pretend helmets, huddle under a blanket fort, and narrate the storm’s “big rumble voice.” The goal is not to mock the fear but to give it a safe, exaggerated stage where the child controls the volume knob. As courage grows, step outside to watch raindrops hit the railing together.
Progress happens in inches. Avoid yanking support away the second your child shows progress. Instead, create a ladder of tiny challenges. Hold hands on the first doctor visit, wait in the lobby the next, sit in the car the third.
Anxiety Wears Many Costumes
Parents often call us about “meltdowns,” “perfectionism,” or “never listening.” Cohen would nod and ask, “Where might worry be hiding?” Common disguises include:
Anger explosions – a preteen slams doors when the wifi glitches, masking fear of social fallout
Rigid routines – a child who must line up toys just right before bed so nothing “bad” happens
Jokester persona – constant silliness that derails homework can signal worry about failure
Clinginess – sudden “baby talk” or needing you to watch every chore can reflect fear of separation
When adults treat the surface behavior without seeing the fear underneath, we risk reinforcing shame. Pausing to wonder “What is my child protecting against?” can reveal fresh solutions.
Your Calm Matters as Much as Theirs
Cohen devotes an entire chapter to parental anxiety, and for good reason. Kids borrow our regulation skills. If we stay in a chronic state of hyper-alert—tracking grades, researching every symptom—children learn that safety is fragile.
A quick self-check: Notice your shoulders, breath, and jaw when your child begins to spiral. If you feel tense, step away for a two-minute reset. Shake out your hands, sip water, or place a hand on your chest while breathing slowly. No fancy mindfulness practice required, only a willingness to model “I can feel big things and still be okay.”
A Day-in-the-Life Example
Let’s bring these ideas to life. Nine-year-old Jordan has been melting down every morning before school. The worry isn’t always clear—sometimes it’s about a missing sock, other times about a class project—but the pattern is familiar: panic, tears, and refusal to go.
Yesterday, his mom tried reassuring him with logic. Today, she takes a different approach inspired by The Opposite of Worry:
Connect first – She sits beside him on the hallway floor and says gently, “Mornings have been feeling really hard, huh?”
Name the worry – “I wonder if part of you is worried about making a mistake at school today.” Jordan shrugs, then nods.
Bring in play – She pulls out a silly stuffed banana with sunglasses and says, “Agent Banana says we can only leave the house if we do a Top Secret Wiggle Dance.” Jordan cracks a smile and joins in.
Scaffold – Instead of rushing to the car, she gives him a few choices: carry Agent Banana in his backpack, or clip him to the seatbelt. Jordan picks the backpack.
Celebrate the brave moment – As Jordan gets in the car, still a little tense, his mom quietly says, “You’re doing the hard thing even while you feel nervous. That’s real courage.”
It’s not a magic fix—but each playful, connected moment adds up. Over time, Jordan starts to expect less panic, and more support.
When Home Strategies Need Backup
There is no shame in seeking professional help. Therapy can be useful when:
Worry keeps your child from age-appropriate activities like sleepovers, sports, or raising a hand in class.
Physical symptoms—headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping—persist despite medical clearance.
Anxiety triggers destructive coping such as self-criticism, aggression, or avoidance of hygiene and meals.
Your own patience is running thin and the family system feels stuck.
At All of You Therapy, our child anxiety work blends playful, attachment-based models—Theraplay, expressive arts, and somatic techniques—with evidence-backed cognitive and exposure approaches. We partner closely with parents because co-regulation is the heartbeat of change. Sessions may look like building worry monsters out of clay, practicing brave body poses, or rehearsing scripts for “big voice” self-advocacy. Everything is tailored to the child’s sensory profile and cultural context. We are proudly neurodivergent and LGBTQIA celebratory, welcoming kids exactly as they are.
Families living in Pennsylvania or New Jersey can meet us online or in our Philadelphia office. Out-of-state readers can still borrow the book’s playful spirit—and remember that asking for help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
Key Takeaways to Post on the Fridge
Anxiety is a smoke alarm, not a personality flaw.
Connection is the quickest extinguisher.
Laughter loosens the grip of fear.
Tiny steps beat big pushes.
Your calm is contagious.
Ready for the Next Step?
If you are curious about how play, attachment, and neuroscience can reshape your child’s relationship with worry, reach out to schedule a new appointment. You do not have to navigate anxiety alone. Together we can help your child discover that the opposite of worry is not perfect safety—it is the felt sense of being capable, connected, and deeply understood.